A number of years ago I was driving home from service at Calvary Presbyterian Church in Alexandria, Va listening to NPR and the show that morning was talking about Father’s Day. According to that show the first person to campaign for a specific holiday honoring a father was Sonora Smart Dodd, who had been raised by a widower, in 1910. It wouldn’t be until 1972 that Father’s Day became a national holiday thanks to President Richard Nixon, this link is not that story but it does expand and verify what I remember of that particular broadcast.
Now, 7 years later, my life has changed a lot. I no longer drive to church, in fact I no longer own a car! I no longer have to worry about Little
Prince sticking to his nap schedule, though I still worry about him getting enough sleep! And yet, some things are the same: Little Prince and I are still a wonder team of two. And it works for us. But that does not mean there are not men in our lives fulfilling that role in some way and it is them that we both wish to honor today. Some of you come and go too quickly but are long remembered. And some of you are around for the long haul, showing the many different sides of masculinity, how to care and respect others, and indulging your inner child which Little Prince is and EXPERT at drawing out! Raising a child truly takes an entire community and as a single parent I depend on that community to provide friendship, lessons, and comfort and for your willingness to be a part of our little community, I thank you.
Traveling across Ontario this past week I noticed an abundance of churches and one church had a billboard out front that said,
Any man can be a Father, it takes someone special to be a Dad.
My immediate thought was, “Absolutely.” Mothers, we have nine months in which we are literally attached to our children, we then have another 6+ months with which we bond as breastfeed and care for our new baby. But men have a harder time, and to get over that hump takes patience and willingness to support the mother in every possible way, which can sometimes be frustrating or feel as though the contribution is minimal or unnoticed. I am honored that I have been witness to one man going through this and that my own Father made it through that time five times! Parenting is not an easy job and we often feel as though we are utter failures so I certainly respect those that choose to never parent another human. But, just because someone does not share your genes does not disqualify you as a parent. In fact, in my opinion, parenting without a blood relation says more about a person than anything else. It shows tenacity, patience, compassion, and caring at levels that should never be admonished but rather admired and respected.
So, today, on Father’s Day, I leave you with this:
Father, brother, uncle, cousin, friend.
You have many roles and titles.
Cis or trans it matters not.
Who you love we neither care.
What matters is that you love.
Your being here is what we care for,
It is what we look forward to and,
what your absence is always sorely missed.Father, brother, uncle, cousin, friend.
Many roles,
always loved.
Elizabeth E. Yahn 